Three easy ways to spot if your reader is fake.

There are plenty of them out there.

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A few years ago, I went away for the weekend with my girlfriend to a pretty art town. We wandered around, had a great breakfast and then she, with some excitement, pulled at my hand. Hey! Let’s get a Tarot reading. There’s a woman around the corner.

Now, that’s like asking a chef to make dinner after a 12 hour shift but I liked her and was game. Why not? It would be interesting to hear what she “saw” with us. We strolled to the little storefront and the woman at the counter was also the owner/reader who smiled and said, Sure. I have time.

We sat and I could already feel my girlfriend stiffen before she laid out the cards, which puzzled me. The reader was friendly; I sat back and let her do her thing. I don’t ever tell anonymous Tarot readers my work and when asked, I say Business coach which is also true. It’s not that I didn’t trust her per se; it’s more of a professional courtesy.

She looked at us, then laid out a spread (I don’t recall the cards) but with great enthusiasm, started to proclaim how we were soulmates and would have a wonderful, long relationship together. She may even have said that we would get married. The reading went on and on and I swear, my girlfriend became real antsy, acting like a boiling Fire sign rather than the Libra she was.

Finally, my girlfriend broke. You are fake! she screamed. You don’t even know what you’re talking about! I’m not paying you. She went on and on.

I looked at her like one might a smartphone after a 20 year coma. Needless to say, I was mortified. Sure, the reader was a bit off mark but the relationship was new enough that I was interested in starting the journey. That is, if soulmate meant a bit of fun to help me over a devastating heartbreak and longevity meant the next three weeks before we broke up, after my girlfriend wanted to change the contract because she started to date someone behind my back. First, I said, there isn’t a contract. Second, I’m more than enough for one woman but if that doesn’t work for you, I’m not playing this game.

I digress. I’m a lesbian; it is to be expected.

However, none of it merited the abuse that my girlfriend laid on this Tarot reader and as we left, I cast an apologetic glance at her and she nodded, as if to say, Good luck with that one.

Was the reader maliciously fake? I don’t think so. Rather, I’d characterize her as more of a Fake #3 below.

Fake #1: Your reader paints a rosy picture around the presently horrible time you are in.

Now, I’m all for positivity but if a reader says something like, Everything’s fine. You’ll be great in a few weeks when the client is headed into a difficult divorce that will only get worse before it gets better, there’s a good chance that they are fake. Or as the popular parlance goes, Talking out of their ass. At the very least, they are clueless over the emotional landscape of their client and at worst, outright lying to squeeze around a difficult question.

We are all in this together. Your reader is human. You are human. A Tarot reading is meant to guide you into exploring your inner world, not provide a fantasy. If your client is headed for the rocks, warn them. I say examples like, The next four months or so will be very difficult but it will eventually ease. Or, this is not the wealthiest time in your life but it seems likely you will have much more financial abundance in the next decade based on x,y,z. Or, you will be alone for a time to rebuild your life but it is highly likely that you will be partnered/married again in the next five years (or not), etc. Depends on the scenario but I don’t blow up egos or rush timelines because it is completely up to my client to create their life as they wish.

Fake #2: Your reader tells you that you are under a curse and you must come back, purchase blah blah before you can be free.

This seems like common sense but there are plenty of desperate people out there who easily trap themselves with a charlatan who promises them freedom. This includes “celebrity” readers who often dazzle people. At the very least, the reader is a money grabber and at the very worst, someone who practices black magic. Even if I say STAY AWAY, they won’t hear me because their mutual vibration/attraction/mirror brings them together.

Only you can free yourself. There are plenty of good therapists, doctors and healers to help you with your mental struggles. Unlikely that it will be a Tarot reader.

Fake #3: Your reader charges too much for the small amount of time spent building their career and/or they give generalizations that apply to anyone. Basically, the reading is full of cotton candy.

I’d say that our friendly reader was more of this category and granted, she was dealing with a tough client who wasn’t open. Perhaps my former girlfriend was afraid she see the “other woman” and blocked the session. More than likely, she saw us as tourists and gave a light, inconsequential read which was reasonably priced (and she was paid in the end). She was definitely not tuned into the relationship but threw around soulmates and other buzz words because lots of people want to hear them, especially with a promising start. I’m not questioning her integrity — only she knows — but it’s kinda like heavy creamer vs. light. Fake is relative but it certainly wasn’t a satisfying read and my thorny ex was annoyed for the rest of the morning, so there was that.

As for readers who charge a fortune but only have a year’s experience, I’d question why you need them. Confidence can be faked — anyone can read out a book — but a genuine, in-depth reading is rare and doesn’t necessarily break the bank. Go for the mature readers with plenty of miles on the road.

So, what is a REAL reading?

Basically, you know it in your soul. It resonates. It helps you grow as a person. Your reader accepts you as you are — but also encourages your wonderful essence. A reading isn’t there to fill up your stomach with cotton-candy predictions. That’s lazy growth. A real reading is there to help you along your path and points to the greater Spirit within you. We are not fortune-tellers. We are not perfect, inerrant channels. We are guides, human just like you, with great empathy because we have all been forged. We are not there to provide you a purpose — that is entirely UP TO YOU to discover who you are, why you are here and ways to bring more freedom and joy into your life, if that is what you so desire.

You might have one amazing reading in your life and that may be enough. The truth is that you don’t need a reader like me. You especially don’t need a fake reader, unless you want another ride on the astral circus merry-go-round!

You only need yourself.