The one book I wish I'd read decades ago.

At least it showed up now.

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I cannot say enough about this book. I’ve spent the last day saying “YES!” all the way through. YES!!!

100% recommended - and that’s extremely rare for a book reader like me.

If only this book had come my way years ago, I would have understood why I acted/reacted in my personal relationships. Friends and partners often wondered why I didn’t talk about my family (well . . . where do I begin?). Why I’ve felt so alone in this world. Why I’ve chosen partners but fled — or they iced me out. Why it’s difficult for me to trust though I love connecting with people at my own pace. Sure, I had plenty of therapy and healing. I wrote books that peeled back the layers. All an immense help.

Yet reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents was mind-opening. It helped me realize that it wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t my fault that I chased after my parents’ love but felt rejected and ignored. It wasn’t my fault that I’m a deeply feeling “internalizer” who wanted to share my love but was shut down by terrified parents who couldn’t deal but quoted Bible verses instead. It wasn’t my fault that I tried to be the good Christian girl with stellar grades who didn’t cause problems — but still wasn’t good enough for my demanding, violent and erratic father who projected constant disappointment. And it wasn’t my fault that my parents left my other sibling and me to the wolves while they chased after my black sheep “externalizer” brother.

My mom died over a decade ago and I’ve come a long way in understanding her. Death offers the greatest gift through an altered perspective. My father is close to death and this book helps me see that both parents were emotionally immature (and why they were attracted to each other), though my mom had more maturity and patience. She was in 3rd grade while my dad was a straight-up, screaming toddler.

I can’t get mad at them now, even if I wish they’d been in graduate school. I’ve spent enough years being angry.

Lindsay Gibson’s book is a gift to those who grew up in similar families — and I’ve never felt more free.