I'll take this job vs. corporate. Any day.
I tried and failed at corporate.
All 100+ posts of The Reluctant Tarot Reader are paywall free to read. To support me, become a free / paid sub or buy me a coffee. 🦅
Many almost-divorced clients think that they need to return to the corporate world — and I think, Good god, why?
This is understandable. Their brain is still lives in the 90s/aughts era, as that was the last time they held a corporate job — or dated, for that matter. I’ll gently probe the statement — I need to find a job — then ask, Do you really want to work?
Most do not — but feel as if they have no other choice. They have done the mostly thankless task of raising children and are now facing peri/menopause, fearful of the change in every aspect (housing, empty nest, finances, relationships, new friendships). The desire to “work” comes from the uncomfortable place of the unknown.
Work = money.
Does it?
They feel FEAR. I feel FREEDOM.
Besides, many of my clients in corporate are being offered buyouts, long before their 60s. Saying no is not an option because they’ll lose the golden ticket and simply be fired down the line. The die is already cast. Ageism is a thing, for sure. Some may return as consultants or part-time but unlikely that most will be hired for a full-time job again.
Change can be terrifying — but once the subconscious mind knows that we are safe, the glimmers of hope begin to appear.
Yet almost-divorced clients are in the thick of it now — watching the Tower crumble and wondering what will come next. The slate is wiped clean. A new life awaits — whether wanted or not. The one where they call the shots, completely autonomous, no permission asked. Do what they want, when they want — however and whomever they want, bit by bit, step by step.
A room of their own, Virginia Woolf once wrote and I say, Forget a room! A whole damn life of their own.
Fortunately, another world has been created for them and patiently waits. Online. Entreprenurial. Nomadic. Content creation. All kinds of ways that were only a thought when they last worked for a boss - or perhaps they’ll take a part-time job that makes them happy.
Whenever entrepreneurial life became too stressful, I thought about having a boss again. That set me straight real fast.
You do want you can when starting out. Odd jobs here and there. I did tutoring, editing, Ebay — whatever helped pay the bills. Yet I had to concentrate on Shivaya Wellness for my business to ever have a chance to flourish — and after many years, it does. I put in the time, dedication, commitment and vision to see it through — and whenever it felt too hard, I thought back on bosses, both great and terrible. The “observations”, reviews, instructions and whatever other constructive criticism or projection they had towards me. Co-workers and other staff, whether I liked or creeped me out. The firm hours. Dress codes. “Casual” days (every day is casual for me). I still had to get in my car at a certain time to make it at a certain time, then place myself under the authority of someone who said I could leave or not, take vacation, stay for meetings and had power over my salary.
It didn’t take but a moment to recall how much I hated corporate life, right from the start. That structure was never built for someone like me; an outlier, visionary or plain stubborn person who said, My life is my own.
Plus, I loved my scuffed up combat boots way too much and fortunately had fabulous bosses who tolerated my shoe collections because I was a dedicated, smart employee.
Ugh. I hated even writing that. Another cog in the machine.
It was easy. Just start out in evangelical fundamentalism and parents who expected you to follow the RULES until retirement — and that will either break or make you invincible. They lived in a world that largely no longer exists and even my corporate world of What’s in your portfolio, darling is actively being torn down. Good. The old paradigms are evaporating in the dawn of the Android Age.
When did life become so boring? When I started worrying about bills.
There’s a trade off to saying goodbye to a bi-weekly check, benefits, union and whatnot. A sacrifice. The steadiness I craved for my artistic life was thrown out of the window when I decided to be an entrepreneur. Yet I can’t deny that rolling the dice is a life that works for my temperament.
Take most days, for example. I’m on the deck, typing a Substack, walking or watching YouTube. Maybe I’m baking or chatting with my mentor or dreaming about another home. Perhaps I’m reading a client or two. Some days there are none. I’m editing my new novel, type an email or observe whether the male hummingbirds have taken off yet. Yes, I’m the woman who strolls around her yard, chatting to bees, wasps and other friends and saying how wonderful they are, mentally designing the enormous pollinator gardens and fruit groves I’ll eventually plant. I’ll watch clouds and fluttering leaves and thank the rain after a dry August. I have no need to get in my car and rush off — or time things right to beat city traffic. No tolls, road rage or forgotten lunches. I don’t have to ask anyone for permission to take time off. Most of my days are time off!
Yet if I want to crunch down and sap all enjoyment, I’ll start to worry about bills. Future trip. Grow impatient. Wonder why the calendar is light. Wonder why I haven’t manifested a/b/c/z yet. Worry about something just to fill the time. And then my 25 year old, the one in scuffed combat boots, perpetually broke and running around NYC will laugh at me and say, When did you get so boring? Remember when you dumped all your shit on the sidewalk and took off for the West Coast, decided you had enough of the rain and came right back? Remember tearing around on your motorcycle over the Brooklyn Bridge? You’re worried about bills???
The best gift of being an entrepreneur: sanding down the rock of worry for all time.
Being your own boss is the perfect way to learn patience, compassion and staying in the right now, appreciating what you have built and also still being alive! If I allowed the millions of worries to dominate my thoughts over the years, I never would’ve been successful with Shivaya Wellness and threw it out the window long ago. If I had, then what? Return to a boss? No way! I had to make it work — and did — because I learned to trust my decisions and step out.
I may have more contentment these days but creators aren’t content for long. There’s always something else to dream and experience. Being successful doesn’t mean I’ve erased the ups and downs that come with owning my own business. That’s the nature of the ocean here. Yet I continue on — whether the month is light, solid or amazingly flush — knowing that I made the right choice to carve my own path. Never having to endure another boss was motivation enough!