I’ve met hundreds of healers, psychics, mediums and readers over the years. Some are well-known names — but the majority prefer to do their work away from the limelight. For the most part, they are down-to-earth, normal people who want to help the world. They’re empathetic, loving and kind.
Though this is aimed at psychics/readers/intuitives who offer services in the metaphysical world, healers can also apply to those in Western medicine.
Unfortunately, many offer their gifts at the expense of their own well being. Why?
Healers don’t know how to say NO.
This is very common in wellness circles. Many healers feel the pain of others and want to alleviate it. Since they feel guilty about saying no, they become a sponge, soaking up issues that reflect their own unbalanced energy. If you visit their home, you’ll find that this problem extends to family relationships.
What happens is that they end up filled with anxiety, depression and illness. They’re sensitive creatures to begin with; it can be difficult to separate what’s mine/theirs so they end up with emotional baggage that takes a toll on their immune system.
Yet they push on with a martyr complex, carrying the shame and unhealed wounds that cause them to lose sight of their personal well-being. It’s like they don’t deserve to be a happy, whole person.
The notion of the suffering healer is passing away as we enter the Age of Aquarius. Unfortunately, some astrologers say it begins in 2597.
What we give to others reflects what we are. If you’re a person who struggles to say no and likes to suffer — and that includes saying yes to mollify others — that will boomerang back in the form of stalker clients, users and liars until you correct the misguided notion that you have to serve everyone while you deceive yourself.
Yet many healers say yes yes yes, especially if they are lonely and confuse a client with friendship. That is a huge NO. You can either be a friend or a reader. You can’t be both.
Learn to say NO to the temptation to get lost in your client’s issues and forget yourself.
Healers/psychics/readers neglect wellness for themselves.
Massage, therapy, Tarot, Reiki, salt caves — they are available as much for the healer as client. The wounded healer requires healing. Self-care. We forget — those in the biz — because we are so focused on the other. When we neglect our own wellness, that’s when we fall apart down the road. Healers wait to serve us — to balance, release, relax and heal. We are meant to help each other.
A client once told me that her previous reader died of throat cancer and it didn’t surprise me to hear. It’s easy to hold onto words spoken by a client in session — we are told things that are said to no one else — and it will fester in the body until we release.
The road of good intentions leads to crash n’ burn. Say bye-bye to your business, your health and possibly your life if you neglect your own well-being. There is no honor in wearing yourself out for your clients. It only reflects a lack of love for yourself and you will become a bitter shell.
Eat organic. Sleep. Relax. Go to therapy or hypno. See your friends. Sit in the woods. Read a book. Treat yourself. Most of all, retain a happy, positive attitude, despite the prevailing opinions over the state of the world. That’s what they are — opinions. You get to create the world you wish to experience.
For healers, wellness is a non-negotiable.
Healers don’t walk the walk — then pay the price.
My mentor said the other day, This is why you’re so healthy after 20 years. You walk the walk.
She’s been a reader for 49 years. An artist. A practicing witch. She’s been around the world — and has seen numerous readers, channels and psychics fall apart and die because they didn’t live with integrity.
That doesn’t mean that they are frauds. In fact, those are not included here. Living with integrity means to honor our bodies and minds with the same love that we advise our clients to give themselves.
It’s easy to offer advice. Much harder to turn the mirror back on ourselves.
Yet many healers eat crap food, are grossly overweight, hate their life, smoke, drink, stay in abusive relationships, act like sacrificial, suffering lambs or have a tiresome holier than thou attitude. They blow through money, are jealous of those more “successful” than them and gossip about clients.
Many are mentally ill, ungrounded and wrap themselves in a fake aura of Oh, I can’t be bothered with worldly things because I live in the 5th dimension. They’ll claim endless debt and unpaid taxes are because they can’t focus on practical matters and need someone else to take care of it.
Not sure about the 5th — but that is plain old BS in this dimension. Lies and avoidance. This will all come back for a visit. Wheel of Fortune. Justice. Judgement. Devil.
A psychic in the early days warned me about the cost of tossing aside your integrity.
They shared a story about a relative who had the same powerful psychic gift passed down through the matriarchal line, yet decided to use it to gamble at casinos. Oh, they won a few huge pots — then paid a bigger price and completely lost their abilities.
People will imagine they’re being clever and say — If you’re so psychic, why don’t you win the lotto?
We honor the gift. There’s a price for misusing it.
It is crucial to examine our motives when we do this work and the life we lead overall. Clients may not be able to see behind the scenes — but our sessions will reflect whether we are healthy or not.
If you are a healer who is fried, admit it. Stop pushing because you need the money. Take a break. You’ll only attract clients who use you — because they reflect your vibration. If you’re ready to leave the biz, graciously retire rather than coast through sessions.
It’s all about integrity. The state of your health will reflect in your eyes, face and business.
Healers can be control freaks and egomaniacs.
We’re all about peace and love, baby — except when THINGS DON’T GO OUR WAY. It’s like the placid yogis who get pissed when the new girl takes their mat space or the massage therapist who is infuriated with the previous healer who forgot to place their crystals back on the shelf or the irritable meditator who waits in line for 15 minutes to retrieve their phone from the office after a 5 day silent retreat.
That’s when the claws come out!
Some healers forget that they aren’t God and suffer because of it. They are frustrated when a client doesn’t respond to their session or grows worse in mind/body. They feel responsible that they haven’t been able to fix them. They wonder what they’re doing wrong or why the client isn’t listening.
Many healers have been physically and sexually abused in childhood — I’ll make a wild speculation and say the majority, based on years of conversation in the woo world and my personal experience — and have sensitive wounds that get triggered in this work, which can often come out as control issues. They so desperately want the client to not feel continual pain, so they project their fears onto them. If the session doesn’t go the way they imagine, they’ll perseverate over it for days, wondering what they did wrong and why they’re “blocked”.
This is also a form of control because the healer thinks that they have fundamentally failed.
We must remember that:
souls choose their path and what they wish to experience in this life.
we are not mean to fix or heal them because that is not our responsibility.
We show up — healthy in mind and body — and do the best we can. We say goodbye, release the session, ground ourselves and go home.
We are not meant to fix or heal. They heal. They fix. We are the mirror.
What do you reflect, healer?
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There are many types of healers. When I tap into a number of them, I experience/ see their lack of self worth. To be a good healer one must first love themselves. Because of COVID - there has been much fear still lurking around our society. Lots of isolation. Some are dependant on alcohol and meds ( usually these people are married or live with a co- dependent ). Fear can really be destructive. Try living for the moment. Meditate.
Listen to yourself. Listen to your body. Keep those intuitive juices flowing. Also, change is good. Letting go of people that no longer honor you including clients can be very forfilling.
Great read as always Raven, thank you.