Why I'm still not on social media.
It's been years. Is it time to go back?
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Will I return to social media?
Substack is the only platform I use and though it can be argued that it is a form of social media, I see it as a great place for serious writers in a world of short-form/30 sec attention spans. I don’t interact on Notes, DMs or have notifications enabled here.
This may seem odd after years spent on major platforms: I was an early adopter of Twitter, FB, Insta, blogs, ebooks and the like. A very exciting time and as my biz was pre-social media, a perfect place to virtually spread my wares. Social media certainly helped — but I grew to like it less and less.
When I decided to give up a healthy Facebook biz page, my colleagues and clients thought I was crazy. They’d ask, What will you do now? How will people ever hear of you? What about your books? Publicity? Some were privately envious because they were ready to bail but saw it as an impossibility even though they were completely exhausted.
Better the devil you know than . . . well, you know.
It takes discipline to give up social media — and a strong desire. Relaxation is a choice.
Was I crazy? Maybe — but giving up social media was a successful experiment that grants incredible peace of mind.
You probably noticed this years ago. FB began demanding more and more personal info in the guise of Protecting Me (thanks, Daddy). They’d lock me out of my biz account, then demand IDs and whatnot. More spam, trolls and inappropriate comments. More and more corporatizing/ads, stolen data, privacy concerns. It was plenty to keep up with comments, likes and incessant dings/emails. I had Insta, Twitter and website/blog, plus clients and other biz stuff.
Social media started to feel like another job, even though I had some great people “following” and enjoyed our repartee. However, I dreaded whether I should like comments, then travel to their page and like things — otherwise, they might get mad, feel ignored and I suffered other forms of weird paranoia that is exclusive to social media. I didn’t have personal accounts but the last thing I needed was someone trashing my business because I didn’t answer them.
By this time, I was established enough (15 yrs) that clients were built in but I wasn’t so arrogant to believe a major change like giving up social media couldn’t simply undo the stability. Any switch is risky. Clients like stability. I like stability! But social media was ready to devour me.
Only I could choose to take care of my nervous system.
First FB, then Twitter (which I loved) and then Insta. Click, click, click — though every platform said that they wouldn’t erase my data for months if I changed my mind. This wasn’t a digital detox as suspected but I was concerned that biz would crater without them. I still had my website and newsletter (since closed) and let clients know I was completely off social media. Many were aghast because they were so used to interacting — but I had to go. Either they would book sessions — or not. That’s the point of being online as an entrepreneur. Real convos that ultimately bring people to website and books, if desired.
The pandemic was amazing for my biz and stepped in to fill the gap once off social media — but still required months for my nervous system to heal. It’s like my ear was tuned to the ding like a dog and ready to jump. I missed interactions but was so relieved to not have to dream up posts, answer comments, etc. All done — and what a relief. And guess what? People forget about you. They are imaginary friends. My clients — most of them — didn't go anywhere, at least not from the choice to disappear. One of them playfully calls me Internet adverse, which is true — and I trust that even after years away from sessions, clients will email and say, Hey, can’t find your website. They’ll hunt me down, if necessary.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with social media. I love watching YT. I just don’t want to continue the dance online.
I’d rather sit and watch my bees dance around flowers, bake in my kitchen, listen to talks/meditation, finish editing my novel, sit in the sun and read a book. I’d rather contemplate clouds, listen to my favorite music: Nature during the summer. I don’t wish to answer a million comments from strangers who aren’t invested in my writing or work. I don’t want to feel like I’m owned by anyone because they feel affronted that my reply didn’t come fast enough.
I choose who to give my precious and limited time — and am very zealous in guarding my energy. Other people can make social media work for them. Great. I get that this is the world in which most people operate, God help them. It’s just not for me.