Why I am finished with religion.

This from a woman who used to save souls.

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All of your difficulties ultimately stem from the fact that you do not recognize or know yourself, your brother/sister or God. — A Course in Miracles

I used to be a fundamentalist, evangelical Christian. All in for nearly 25 years. I could write books about it — Hey, wait! I have — largely stemming from clients who ask, How in the world did you become a Tarot reader after being a strict Christian?

It was a long, rocky road — and I still work through the deep indoctrination of that time. I’ll link to earlier posts about why I walked away from the church, give three reasons why I’m done with religion and my predictions for the future of Christianity and religion in general.

It won’t win me many fans, I can tell ya.

One of the most courageous steps you can take in life is to leave the church.

I neither encourage nor dissuade this action. There is a place for religion in this society and I am a big supporter of religious freedom. I do not denigrate anyone who needs or loves church because I was once one of them. However, everyone has a right to tell their story and the more people actually tell the truth about why they left — whether from rejection over their sexuality, divorce, abuse, judgment, politics — the lie of religion will continue to break spirits.

Do I believe in Jesus?

Let’s get one thing out of the way: I’m not an atheist.

What I believe or don’t believe is irrelevant. No one here on Earth will walk with me after death. I spent far too many years trying to bridge the gap (I just wrote gay — Freudian?), tell others about Christ, save the lost. I truly believed in Christianity, Jesus and the abundant life he offered. However, when I really paw through the past and have the bravery to tell the truth and not fear “hell”, I never felt Jesus. I didn’t have these big, transformative but highly personal experiences that others labeled Jesus. Christianity felt like a test I had to pass. Man, I tried. It was to please my parents, my pastor and quell the emerging gay girl in me. As an adopted child, I wanted to belong — somewhere, anywhere. I listened to sermons week after week, year after year telling me that I was a sinner, saved in the blood of the Lamb and that as a woman, I was to submit to men and their authority. This beautiful Earth was a horrible, sinful place but someday a wonderful paradise would greet me. God was He/Him/Son. Never She/Her/Daughter. Week after week, year after year.

Which brings me to the first reason: child abuse.

I acknowledge the rampant sexual abuse that is rife in churches but this particular take is on the subtle child abuse that occurs when parents train up a child in the way he should go. Imagine a perfect, innocent mind — the tender subconscious — listening to the common messages in churches: Jesus saves. You were born a sinner. Your Catholic/ Muslim/Jewish/nonreligious friends are going to hell if they aren’t Christian. Jesus was tortured and died for you because you stole that pack of gum. Jesus had to come to Earth because you were bad, even when you tried to be good. You’ll never be good. You are bad to the core, just like me. We’re all bad. Confess your sins, 5 year old. If the baby wasn’t baptized, who knows where its soul went? You need to be saved or God your loving Father will throw you into the lake of burning fire for eternity. Yes, listen to your parents who hopefully won’t harm you but your Heavenly parent will reject you if you don’t get saved through Jesus who died for you.

We protect little children from violent images online — and yet let them stare every week at a nearly naked man, bruised and bloodied, hanging from a cross by nails while they begin to realize that he suffers exclusively for them. We encourage cannibalism and human sacrifice by drinking the blood and eating the body of Christ week after week. Girls begin to realize that they have no authority in church and must listen to men, week after week, telling them how to live. This is not exclusive to Christianity.

There’s some real disconnect with parents right there. It’s no wonder many adults eventually go crazy from church indoctrination.

If I pray for anything, I pray for those poor trusting children, trapped in pews and listening to that horrible messaging, year after year, not realizing the damage it will cause down the road. I’ve heard story after story from clients of elderly parents who cling to life because they are terrified and have no peace on the verge of death, no matter how far they’ve backslidden from the church. No matter how many times they went to the altar or confession booth. The indoctrination runs deep, a toxic pool of ruin. Reportedly, even Billy Graham was terrified to die. Hm. Wonder why?

Once you vanquish the monster, you're free.

Second reason: watch your most hyper religious parent slowly die — and that will tell you everything about the comforts of religion.

My eldest sibling and I chatted yesterday. Man, Dad really has to stop with the Bible thumping stuff.

Good luck, I laughed. He won’t. You’re his captive audience.

They said, I’ll just roll him to church right up to the pulpit and he can preach to everyone.

He’d like that. Don’t listen to him. He’s worried about his own soul — you’re a projection.

It’s no wonder my sibling crawled out the window at 14 and ran away. Decades later, I warned them not to return. I said, Keep your home. Do not move in. It is a spider’s web and you will suffer.

But did they listen? No. Why listen to free advice from the intuitive, anyway? Some people just like to be tortured. I guess that’s another creative way of tearing down illusions and my sibling has scores to settle.

False gods, Part II.

The years of guilt, judgement and shame. Never good enough. Never enough. The nights of reading the Bible and then being hit, screamed at, ignored and punished. The Dad at church and the Other Dad at home. The Dad who is a frustrated pastor, wanting people to bow when he enters the room. After all the prayers, meetings and tithing — he is terrified to die, sucking up any energy offered to continue his life. Blood sacrifice, indeed. Where is the comfort of the Bible now? Jesus? Why wouldn’t he rush to his dead church friends, wife (she’s not waiting but that’s what we like to say) Why is he terrified to be alone? Isn’t God enough?

My father doesn’t dare Bible thump at me anymore. I bow to no one — and I experienced Other Dad, whom I’ll gladly share to the church at his funeral, if necessary. The truth will set you free. Isn’t that what the Bible said?

If only they told the real truth in church.

Third reason and the shortest: the judgement and abuse of gay people.

That time when they tried to cast out the demon of homosexuality.

Why are high profile pastors and leaders leaving the church in droves?

If I were still a fundamentalist Christian, I would say that we are in the last times and seeing the rise of the Anti Christ and the Mark of the Beast. Every generation wants to believe that they will be the ONE who sees Jesus return from the clouds and begin the 1,000 year war, depending on how you view Revelations. Some churches literally froth over the idea of the Rapture, non-Christians being punished and this evil world being destroyed by God and His angels, Satan and his minions being cast into Hell for all eternity. Real Marvel hero stuff.

But I am no longer a Christian, nor do I have any need for religion. Still love me some Christian/gospel music, though!

However, I completely understand the popularity of Father Mike — who is straight out of casting — and numerous celebrities being baptized. I understand the obsession with demons and exorcism and apocalyptic addictions. People are bored, terrified and lonely. This is the first generation of men who have never gone to war and they are restless and uncertain. Religious people need to feel that they made the cut and their souls are no longer in jeopardy. They need to feel confident and know the end of the story. They need somewhere to go after a workweek and belong. People need to feel a part of something — it’s very normal tribalism. Maybe they’re right. Maybe Jesus is the only way to eternal bliss.

With respect to Jesus — who I truly believe existed on this planet — I’ll take my chances.

With all of the Jesus talk (curious that this now happening even on Joe Rogan, Russell Brand, etc — hm. Wonder why?), Bible apps and rush to baptisms, we are also seeing the youngest adult generation decisively turn away from religion and I’m sure that is troubling to the authorities on many levels. Religion is power, control and money — and once people see through the illusion, it will be like the man behind the curtain.

If one chooses to see from a different perspective.

Even more quietly, there are many, many high profile pastors and religious leaders who are leaving Christianity and not from sexual/financial scandal. They simply do not believe anymore and cannot continue their ministry with integrity. Men with decades behind the pulpit or held powerful positions in the church. You merely need to go on YT and search Bart Erhman, Tim Sledge or deconversion stories and you will listen to numerous stories, all of them heart-wrenching. The reasons why they left may surprise you.

My predictions of the future of religion, especially Christianity.

Since I grew up in Christianity, I’ll focus on that particular branch of religion — though there is continual waning of interest from young adults in different religions, even Zen Buddhism. I don’t believe religion in the next 1,000 years will hold the power it does in society. I don’t even believe there will be humans on planet Earth but android type beings who will be a net positive for Nature, who will be healthier than ever with all of us gone. The children being born today will be the great-grandparents of the Androids.

How many Christians view this Earth as another paradise? Perhaps believing that this is a horrible, sinful place and Nature should submit to humans was a lie that wrought great destruction. Did it not say that we are to be stewards of the gift?

But let’s pretend that this will continue as a fully human planet. With the rise of AI, human consciousness and the revealing of Biblical secrets (perhaps the REAL revelation), humanity will see how the Bible has been manipulated over centuries to control humans. There will always be a small segment of humans who will need “church” for whatever reason — similar to early sects found in Christianity — but Christianity as a whole will not have the power and reach that it does now. It is already on the decline and will continue to weaken. Why?

Several additional reasons: women will simply not put up with the patriarchal bs, nor have their children indoctrinated. Massive sexual/financial/textual and other revelations will be the final blow to the remaining trusting sheep, though there will always be those who do not want to see. Most of all, churches will continue to lose money and will either pivot their message or die off. They know where their bread is buttered. Any future church that remains — sorry, evangelical Christians — will be the Catholic Church and various small sects of Eastern Orthodox, simply because they have more longevity and skin in the game.

The new spirituality is no spirituality.

The reason why I am so confident in this prediction is the historical record of religion, many of whom held so much power that you’d be a fool or dead to question them. Let’s also remember the Goddess religions — the When God Was a Woman era — that the “church” did their best to destroy.

The Wheel of Fortune turns. For humans and churches. We are not immune to change, including the major religions. Our reality that seems so present in the here and now is a dust mote in the timeline of existence. Churches and religion will change, decline, disappear or morph to some other version to contemplate the mystery. It doesn’t take a psychic to know this. It’s already happening in front of our eyes.