When they show you who they are the first time...
believe yourself.
I had a sweet business deal brewing earlier this week. Negotiations were heavily in my favor but I took my time. No rush, no chase. Let them come to me.
I used to rush and chase with unhealed abandonment issues, which meant my subconscious believed in a limited world and should grab what was offered.
I mean, it might go away, right? I can MAKE IT WORK! I can suffer and struggle and show how much I care by casting myself aside because you never know . . . and then I might end up alone. All by myself!
I let things arrive now — or they float away. I focus with a strong determination but do not make a move until 100% correct. It lays flat in me. No unease or fear. Tuning forks all in a row, singing in harmony. If it’s not right, it disappears within 24 hours.
This deal felt about 98%. Maybe even 99% in the early hours. I was excited. So easy!
Yet something nagged. It drove me crazy. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this deal. Nothing is perfect in life. What’s 1%, anyway? We all have to compromise, right?
2 choices: ignore or pay attention.
I grabbed my trusty pendulum and took a deep breath. Focused.
Wisdom, I said. Is this deal going to bring me happiness? Will it be the best choice?
My pendulum gave a lazy maybe. So aggravating! Everything was perfect! So easy! 99%!! C’mon!!
100% — or move on.
I argued. This is such a great deal! Are you kidding me? C’mon.
So I took a deep breath and asked again. Clever. Pose the question in a different way. Yet there’s no other who’s answers. It’s me — with me. A greater me. A wiser me who can’t be fooled and has my best interest at heart.
She is my greatest protector.
If my pendulum could shrug, it would have on the second ask. Maybe, but probably not.
This is where I had to stop and think. Lay aside the pendulum and relax into the question.
Why am I feeling this way? What is off? What is irritating me? Why isn’t this 100% right?
They didn’t email me back quick enough. That’s it.
Everyone has a line in the sand. Might seem small to you — but what I can handle with ease might be your major irritation.
Pay attention to every sign. That’s how you become a powerful intuitive.
Yesterday, I evaluated whether I was too judgmental about the situation because I’ve been known to cut people off when angry or disrespected. This person seemed perfectly nice. The deal seemed set up for easy negotiations that would’ve benefited both of us. That’s why it perplexed. It seemed so great!
I could have made it great in my active imagination. Made it something it wasn’t, made it work because I needed it. I mean, I put up with SO much in the past. Why not this? It’s nothing! An email. So what? So they take their time? Look how much money I’ll save. I’m such a great negotiator. What if nothing else comes? What if this is the best I can get?
I’m a gifted intuitive for a reason. I listen and believe in my first impression of someone.
I don’t chase, fawn or grasp. I wait for things to come — including emails in the timeframe that works for me (which might be different or inconsequential to you) — or I move on.
The guiding question: how do I feel right now?
As expected, they didn’t email until this morning because this was a pattern set by initial contact. I let it go the first time — because it came with apologies — but not the second, even with the oversharing explanation of why. I already decided last night that even if the deal was sweeter today, I was done.
I was right. They are a very nice person. Just not for me.
In my business deals, contact is within 1-3 hours, if not immediately. It might not be a yes/no — but a recognition that my time is valuable and they still have a strong interest in my money. It could be a simple email: Thanks, Raven. I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.
You’d be surprised how hard this type of reply is for many people. Just a simple recognition that you’ve been heard and that they will respond.
When it comes down to business, they better show that they value my time and money — or I’ll take it elsewhere.
This doesn’t just apply to business, of course. As Maya said, when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. Stop expecting them to change or be who you want them to be. They won’t change. They don’t have to — for you.
Even if they show up on your porch step, heart in hand after being an asshole. They’ve already shown that they won’t value your heart. Welcome to your future.
Even if they ignore your email or apologize for not being in contact. They’ve already shown that they don’t value your time, money or affection. Welcome to your future.
Even when your goodhearted friends warn about a potential relationship and you ignore them. Welcome to your future.
Even if your overeager lover promises you the moon but breaks your heart over and over today, they’ve shown you your future.
Even when it’s 99.9% but something nags at you.
Believe in yourself.