What it takes to succeed.
If you have these qualities, you'll make it in biz and life.
You actually like yourself.
If you’re a hot-tempered, irritable mess, you’re better off in therapy than starting a wellness business like Tarot or similar modalities. There’s a tendency for good-hearted, wounded humans to chase after healing by helping others but that will only translate as unhealthy codependence. How will you know? Hot-tempered, irritable clients will show up and reflect facets you need to love and heal.
If you’re not in the wellness world, change clients to friends, partners, family members, strangers, contractors, business contacts. You get my drift.
We’re all connected. All one. That’s why this consciousness stuff is so easy to understand (or not).
Billions of walking mirrors.
There’s a reason this is one of my most popular Substack posts.
Do you like yourself?
You must at least like yourself to even attempt a wellness business — or any business, for that matter. Otherwise, the first derailment will come in the form of a light calendar, nasty client, poor reviews or lingering health issues that will crumble your confidence. More derailments will follow because you’re not meant to be on this train. Not yet.
An unshakeable positive attitude.
I sometimes think about why clients come to me for sessions. There are millions of readers online. Plenty of freebies and cheaper rates. I’m not easy to find as I’m off all social media, my website has an unusual name, and I’ve done little in the ways of promotion in the last few years, other than my books.
Yet there are clients who have booked for 10-15 years with as many life events that can happen during such periods. Some stretch way back to the early years. Perhaps there’s something to be said for the gravitas that 20 years affords but even that . . .eh, I don’t think so. Other clients come through referral and then they send their people, who cycle in and out. A business can’t rely on the stalwarts. The mainstays may die or move to other readers. You need the outliers who come back 1-2x a year, or 1x every 5 years.
Why do they return? What compels them to come back? If you can figure that out, you’ll be in business for decades.
More than being weirdly funny and direct, I have an unshakeable positive attitude — in them, in me and the overall state of the world. No doom and gloom during my sessions.
Take a peek. It goes something like this:
Me, voice super fast: Blah, blah, blah, blah. And! Blah, blah, blah, blah.
My energy that beams out to clients: You’re doing great. You’re amazing. You’ll figure this out. It’s easy. You can do this. You’re so strong! You’ll get through. I’m proud of you.
Sometimes I actually say those words — but it’s my energy that they feel.
Have a genuine, positive outlook and clients will arrive like bees to a field of dandelions.
Your patience outweighs your irritation and lack of trust.
It should come as no surprise that PATIENCE is the backbone of our physical life. At least one that would like to have recurring moments of happiness and contentment.
Your business will constantly push the trigger point of patience. Sometimes you won't feel a thing. Maybe a twinge here and there. A client who doesn’t groove with you. A day with no internet. Broken pipes. A car inspection. An unpaid invoice.
Then comes the pain: an enormous tax bill, a calendar that’s so busy it fries your ass — or so light, you pull your hair out. You’ll wonder if all of your clients have abandoned you. You’ll get sick for a week or a family member goes off the rails. You’ll stress that you said something wrong to a client who then jammed up your energy. You’ll be tempted to create numerous stories as to WHY THIS IS HAPPENING? IS GOD MAD AT ME?
This is why you must draw upon your reserves of patience. This is why you MUST HAVE reserves of patience!
You might be naturally patient. That must feel amazing!!
Or you might be like me.
Raven’s recipe for developing patience muscles in life and business.
Step 1. Don’t overreact.
If you’re clutzy like me, you’ll constantly tip over hot liquid, grind flax and then open the top before it’s done, blend yogurt that flies up to the ceiling, skitter cat food across the kitchen floor at 6am, knock over cups of lentils, flour, oil while baking. The key is to NOT REACT with anger. Be as impassive as possible. I grew up with an hysterical father who went through three acts and intermission if I spilled a cup of water on the carpet, despite it having magical properties of drying.
It’s irritating when these things happen, yes. Easy enough to drop a curse or feel the heat rise up in your chest. Resist. Calmly get the vacuum cleaner and then thank modernity for inventing hose attachments. Clean it up and move on with your day.
You’ll feel proud of yourself, I can promise you that. And it will go easier next time. I spilled a cup of whole flax the other day and realized after it was cleaned that I hadn’t reacted at all. I guess there’s a positive side to being a clutz, after all?
Step 2. Hug yourself.
One of the best things to calm down and be patient is hug yourself. Yup. Wrap those arms around yourself and say all the things you wish your mom, your boss or your present (but soon to be ex) boyfriend would. Hug and don’t let go until you feel calm. You’ll get a nice shoulder stretch out of it, too.
Step 3. Yoga and QiGong. Tell your body to relax.
Yoga intentionally places you in difficult poses so that you learn patience. It teaches the brain that not only you can do things beyond what you believe yourself capable of — but that everything ends, even if it’s more than 5 seconds beyond the mat.
QiGong, well — it's just amazing. Check out the two videos in the post below if you’re interested in doing a wonderful QiGong practice to balance your chi.
Step 4. Get the help that you need — and believe that you deserve it.
Readings can only take you so far. Wellness can only do so much. Therapy is helpful if you act upon the suggestions. You are the one who decides to understand the inner patterns that act against you. There are no saviors in this world until you can be your own savior and learn to love yourself in the ways that seem to have eluded you. This life is an ongoing experiment in knowing ourselves — and that includes being patient with who you are in this moment, even if you’re zen or a hot, irritable mess.
I’m still proud of you. Now go hug yourself!
