The Tarot reader who has no answers.
The find and fix gene has been removed.
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Early in my career as a reader, I gave myself a boatload of suffering with the belief that I had to discover the bulletproof answers to someone’s question. I’d stare at the cards, searching for direction. It had to be in there somewhere. My clients were desperate. Hurting. Confused.
And here I was, the hyper-aware, overly responsible child wanting to take away their pain. Quite understandable, this reaction — but a big miscalculation. I was well on my way to becoming an unhealthy healer who was only setting herself up for blame.
You told me this — and it DIDN’T COME TRUE!
Thus said their child in response, blaming the authority figure (mommy, daddy, priest, president) they relied on — but only let them down.
As the years continued on, I shifted my perspective after understanding how my traumas often directed my steps. I learned from mentors and others while continuing to hone my craft, read by read. I loved myself enough to believe that I deserved clients that matched my energy of confidence and positivity — and clear out the ones who didn’t listen but only wanted to bitch and dump on me. I was determined to make my business be a success — but not at the expense of my mental health.
I didn’t have to read those people. There are plenty of psychics and boxing teachers in the world.
Trying to find “answers” was a spiritual disservice to my clients by ignoring their personal responsibility. Plus, it just made me feel bad.
The session would linger, hours or days after. I’d overthink, worry that I said the wrong thing and that the client would resent me or not book again. All of this birthed from the misguided notion that I had to find and fix.
The only way a reader / healer / intuitive will sustain business long-term AND be healthy is to give up the notion of find and fix. Otherwise, burnout and bitterness are sure to arrive down the line.
We must present ourselves as respectful, friendly advisors who offer suggestions — just like we need friendly, positive guides when we healers face difficulty. Have my predictions come true? Some, yes — but that’s not an indicator of my success. People predict the weather, relationships, stocks, etc all the time — and are often wrong as much as right.
My success — in large part — comes from loving myself enough to let go of the responsibility to find and fix.
Clients come to me with a variety of emotional situations, which require me to be strong and stable enough to handle them in session. That does not translate to Here, do this and that and tada! it will all go away. That will only end in disaster because it is born of arrogance.
Amen sister.