The one book I wish I'd read decades ago.

and a few other things...

I cannot say enough about this book. I’ve spent the last day saying “YES!” all the way through. YES!!!

100% recommended - and that’s extremely rare for a book reader like me.

If only this book had come my way years ago, I would have understood why I acted/reacted in my personal relationships. Friends and partners often wondered why I didn’t talk about my family (well . . . where do I begin?). Why I’ve felt so alone in this world. Why I’ve chosen partners but fled — or they iced me out. Why it’s difficult for me to trust though I love connecting with people at my own pace. Sure, I had plenty of therapy and healing. I wrote books that peeled back the layers. All an immense help.

Yet reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents was mind-opening. It helped me realize that it wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t my fault that I chased after my parents’ love but felt rejected and ignored. It wasn’t my fault that I’m a deeply feeling “internalizer” who wanted to share my love but was shut down by terrified parents who couldn’t deal but quoted Bible verses instead. It wasn’t my fault that I tried to be the good Christian girl with stellar grades who didn’t cause problems — but still wasn’t good enough for my demanding, violent and erratic father who projected constant disappointment. And it wasn’t my fault that my parents left my other sibling and me to the wolves while they chased after my black sheep “externalizer” brother.

My mom died over a decade ago and I’ve come a long way in understanding her. Death offers the greatest gift through an altered perspective. My father is close to death and this book helps me see that both parents were emotionally immature (and why they were attracted to each other), though my mom had more maturity and patience. She was in 3rd grade while my dad was a straight-up, screaming toddler.

I can’t get mad at them now, even if I wish they’d been in graduate school. I’ve spent enough years being angry.

Lindsay Gibson’s book is a gift to those who grew up in similar families — and I’ve never felt more free.

QiGong is amazing. Why haven’t I practiced this before?!? Oh, but I have…

My good friend K mentioned that she and her partner have been practicing QiGong — and recommended Jeff Chand.

I did his 40 minute practice — and there was a clear inner knowing that I’d done QiGong a long, long time ago in Asia. The effortless grace and beauty. The perfect complement to my decades-long yoga practice. It was so familiar and yet in this life, I had a desire to learn QiGong but thought an in-person teacher was required. A few moves were done in yoga but not a complete practice. Suddenly I remembered that there’s this thing called the Internet with millions of QiGong videos.

QiGong came at the perfect time, considering the difficult 1st quarter I’ve had with Shivaya Wellness.

Forced to live in the moment.

Jeff is enjoyable — but I hope Judy will adopt me as her granddaughter. Her video is beautifully silent, other than the birds singing and occasional dump truck (hey, it’s Earth). Practice #2, #3 and #7 are my favs. I can’t help but smile during her routine and imagine the day I die, I’ll be outside doing QiGong and drop to the ground — and that will be that! A perfect death for a perfect life.

Oh, and bread. Glorious, glorious bread.

I haven’t bought a loaf of bread in two years because the perfect recipe found its way to my kitchen. Banana Bread from King Arthur Baking.

I’m gluten/dairy/egg free, so here’s the GF version. For eggs, I use flax or chia but an egg-free replacer works. I prefer the health benefits of flax and chia.

This recipe is so versatile and if you don’t like bananas, switch to something else. The only thing to remember with GF baking is that moisture is key — otherwise it will dry. I’ve used blueberries, apples, applesauce, cashew cream, coconut yogurt, dates, oat flour, chocolate chips, mulberries — anything that retains moisture.

A tablespoon or so of organic Apple Cider Vinegar is also great for a rounder loaf, if egg/dairy free.

My baking philosophy is . . . throw it in and see if it works. If not, try again!

I make this every week but do different flavors/versions. It’s baked in a stoneware loaf pan or cast iron (no aluminum), then cools overnight. I cut/freeze 4-5 slices after eating a delicious one for breakfast.

It’s slightly more labor intensive than grabbing a loaf from the store — but such a delight to make and not have plastic waste and preservatives that come with mass-produced bread.

Just good, clean bread — fresh and ready in the morning or soup at lunch.

My flours are Pamela’s GF All-Purpose Baking Flour and Pizza Crust Flour. The pizza flour makes a perfect crunchy outer crust and sometimes I add in a little coconut flour because there are giant 25 lb bags of flour (totally worth the cost) that need to be used!

Bread, QiGong and healing from a traumatic childhood. My kinda life!