Loneliness is part of the ride.

No one has your answers, except you.

Photo by Anastasiia Balandina on Unsplash

If the last few years (or our entire life on Earth) have taught us anything, it is that loneliness will either break you or make you stronger. I write about loneliness quite a bit in my books and have read clients of all ages, wealth and social status who struggle with feeling alone.

I don’t have a quick and easy answer — yet when I stopped fighting loneliness, that’s when my life improved.

It helps that I really enjoy my company and can spend lots of time alone. It’s the writer in me, yes — but also being forged by a lonely childhood. Nature, books and animals befriended me then and I literally talk to birds and bees even now. I used to hide how much I loved Nature — as if being a tree hugger was a shameful thing — but it doesn’t matter. The last thing I’ll feel in this body is Nature against my cheek.

I make sure to imagine my perfect death, long before I reach it.

No matter who will love and be at the “end of Raven”, I will die alone, so I might as well learn to love myself as much as possible, cause that’s who’s coming with me on the road — and she better bring snacks!

Not everyone is built like the solitary creature I am — but no one escapes loneliness. It’s part of the deal on Earth and a strong reminder — especially in the midst of this Great Shift — that our constant task is to nourish a connection to ourselves and to Spirit/God/Wherever we come from, rather than waste time comparing ourselves to glam (often fake) images on social media of happy people with loads of money.

Greed, idolatry, fear, heartbreak = loneliness.

My daily motivator.

Yet we still have ourselves.

That’s who will remain when our money is gone, our partner dies, commits suicide or leaves us for someone else, we move to a new town, we long to be with someone after years of celibacy, when our children leave or hate us, our government fractures, we struggle with fear and worry, a physical decline, a beloved pet dies, we lose our faith.

When we can love ourselves through transcendent times, as well as the dark — that’s when loneliness becomes a friend and guide, rather than something that conquers us.