Kill an ant, start a war.
Why I've stopped killing insects.
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Killing insects nourishes the seeds of hatred, aversion and delusion in me.
Lately, I’ve gotten into listening to dharma talks — though I am not a Buddhist — and one struck very deep the other day. I appreciate many ideas in Buddhism, especially the five main vows, including Do not kill.
This particular talk noted how it’s easy to think that if we don’t go around murdering people — or even if vegan — that we do not kill. Yet, the teacher posed, who thinks about insects?
I wish that I was born without the need to kill — but I wasn’t. I killed insects as a kid, used sprays, poured salt on slugs, slapped mosquitoes because everyone else around me did. “Bugs” lived up to their name — annoying, inconvenient if they weren’t the pretty ones. As a kid, I loved animals and rescued all kinds of creatures — but don’t recall fostering a love of insects. I didn’t torture them like others did, such as pulling off legs and wings, burning with matches and sun, lighting ant caverns with gasoline, squashing wasps, destroying bee hives. If anything, I was neutral as people in the neighborhood fell in love with lawns and poured herbicides all over their grass.
The love of insects came later — once I discovered their intrinsic and astonishing beauty, as well as holding a necessary place in the ecosystem. That didn't eradicate my bent towards getting rid of what “bugged” me, causing panic or irritation.
According to this particular Buddhist idea, I was born with the seeds of killing already stored in my karmic bank — and though I may not wish to murder another human this time around, that desire to kill exists in me. Return to this world of samsara and kill a “pest”. Dominate (hatred), eradicate (aversion) and consider myself more important than any other creature (delusion), even if it is a tiny creature who “doesn’t matter”.
This was NEVER discussed in Christian churches, despite the command to not kill. It’s very deep shit.
I hate war. I wish all war would cease. That starts with me eradicating the war inside.
I adore bees. I could spend hours watching ants. Don’t get me started on fireflies, butterflies, beetles and wasps. Love them all!
But no see ums swarming my ears? Mosquitoes? Ticks? Ugh!
Just the other day, I found a fat tick hanging on my cat and had a moral crisis. I loathe ticks. Why? Hatred and aversion — Lyme’s disease, etc — and wanted to pluck it off and throw it down the toilet. I’ve done it hundreds of times. However, I stopped. Thought as I held it in the removal tool and looked at it. I still loathed the bloodsucking, ugly little creature. It could make my cat sick! Me sick! How dare it come into my house! Who does this tick think it is!
Well, it’s a tick. It wants to live, feed its babies and keep going another day. This is a really big deal for me, you know I said to the air as I threw it into the woods, hoping our friends the opossum or birds had a lovely dinner of tick. I’m still grossed out and have done the toss twice now — but made a vow not to kill and it isn’t a selective choice of just the nice, pretty and entertaining insects. It includes the ones who very clearly point out the aversion in me. By not killing, it also increases virtuous karmic seeds — and that’s what I wish to store in my bank vault!
Who am I to destroy their flight? as Xandra says in I Was Once A Person — and I agree.
So, I think twice when I see a big headed black ant crawling up the walls or a tick, seeking blood. This is also why I adore my spiders and never kill them. They are my natural “pest” removal.
Kill an insect, continue the war.
