Giving myself a break.
The simple secret to growing contentment.
No way! My 100th Substack post! All posts of The Reluctant Tarot Reader are paywall free. To support, become a paid sub or buy me a coffee. Thank YOU to all of my subs and readers. I appreciate you.
This is for the writers: before I started my latest book — a novel — I told myself I didn’t have to finish.
Maybe it was reverse psychology but it worked. I’m a memoirist and have rarely forayed into fiction. However, Substack takes care of the inner essayist, so when the title of my latest book dropped into my head two years ago, I knew it was a potentially great story. Did I want to write it? Yes and no. I was reluctant to face the challenge of fiction — as much as I enjoy the genre — and pulling together a book that doesn’t exist is the hardest part of the journey.
I bought yellow legal pads and my trusty Pilot G2 pens (I’m a superstitious writer, at that) and began. About a month into the project, I hit a wall. Plenty of words but didn’t like the plot. Didn’t like the woo/futuristic aspect. Meh, I said. This is not what I want. Too many woo books in the world already. I’m not getting anywhere with this.
So, I grew bored and put the project aside. I can be an impatient, capricious writer at the start of a project, expecting the story to be published within a week. If it isn’t flowing, there’s a good chance I’ll move on.
But my book wasn’t done with me. (Once you meet my incredible main character in early 2025, you’ll understand.) My book insisted on a return last summer. Was I excited? Not really — still didn’t know where it was headed — but had a moment of clarity while reading Dante’s Divine Comedy and knew that the foundational piece had arrived.
Still, there was the small matter of the book ACTUALLY being written.
My trick? I’d say, It doesn’t matter if this takes a year or decades to write. It doesn’t matter if it never gets written. Just make a pot of tea and sit for 10 minutes at your desk. Read over what you have. Doesn’t matter if you don’t write a word. Jot down ideas. It’s okay, Raven. Fiction may not be the easiest thing to write but it will get easier. Fiction is fun. You’re a great writer. I love writing fiction. I love my book. This is going to be an amazing book! The best I’ve ever written. I love my book. I love writing!
I did this type of homegrown hypnotherapy for months until the story began to possess my imagination. Either that would happen — or more than likely, it would fall away again. I’d write in my backyard or breakfast when the weather turned cold. Generally, I’d write 20-30 minutes and put it aside. Never pushed or chided. Never forced. I rarely skipped a day but would say, It’s okay if you don’t want to write today. Maybe come back in a day or two? If too many went by, I’d go to my table and casually read over my notes until another idea popped.
And then, after many months of letting things just be — I fell in love with my protagonist. I thought about the story 24/7. I heard her voice in my ear and laughed all the way through drafts. I couldn’t wait to get back to the story and her antics. A notebook waited in my nightstand in case she woke me at 3am (not my fav but I’d scribble in the dark and fall back asleep).
Ease, gentleness and encouragement wrote my latest book. Giving myself a break is the secret.
AND — I can’t wait to share my novel with you! My cover is actively being created and I’m in editing stage, so January 2025 is the latest projection for getting it in your hands. In the meantime, enjoy reading my other books.
This is for the entrepreneurs: When biz is slow, busy or somewhere in between - I say, I love myself. I’m doing the best I can.
I’ve been an entrepreneur since lemonade stands and yard sales, hustling for that buck. Chatting, negotiating and experiencing the joy of a sale. I’ve been broke, in the depths of despair, feeling the ecstasy of a thriving business and everything in-between.
Even after 20 years as an intuitive, I still ride the waves — though they are much calmer because I’ve learned how to navigate them. I say, I’ve been through this before — many times. I know how to do this. I trust myself. I love this life and won’t miss a moment, even if the biz is wonderful, dead or after a (rare) but difficult client. I won’t have this day again and I love my life. I love my clients and they love me. I’m doing the best I can.
Ease, gentleness and encouragement keeps me in business until I retire. Giving myself a break is the secret.
This is for the humans: When I have moments of irritation, resentment or frustration that I’m not where I think I should be, I feel it and then say, I love myself. I’m doing the best I can.
Often people believe that because I’m an intuitive, life is simple and easy. I should know things and that protects me. But here’s a truth: I’m intuitive because I am a deeply feeling person. My life is like yours. I’m a normal person.
Granted, I’ve come a long way in creating a life of beauty and simplicity that works for me — but like any creator, this Raven being is an ongoing work that I reshape to my liking as needed. I’ve learned to trust my feelings, rather than be fearful or resent my sensitivity. I’ve lived long enough to understand Ani DiFranco’s lyric, though I don’t believe in the concept of “older”:
If you're not getting happier as you get older / Then you're f*ckin' up
But even today, I stood at my sink and felt a flash of resentment towards someone in my past. Rather than indulge that memory, I felt the emotion and said, Whether my resentment is valid or not, I love myself. I’m doing the best I can — and I dissolve all resentments. I deserve to be happy and won’t let any resentment — valid or not — get in the way of my happiness.
That’s how I roll now. It’s not worth my precious and limited time to marinate in old hurts, valid or not. Perhaps this memory rose up like a ghost because since last night, I’ve repeated in my mind the mantra: My life is rich and wonderful.
Memories can come — and memories can go. That’s what they are. Memories. Not now. Not here. Not real. Sure, I’ll acknowledge them. Feel them. I just won’t let them drive the car.
This Raven persona will soon be gone from this Earth and I certainly hope the adventure continues, though strong evidence points to the contrary. If indeed this is a one-shot, then I will come to the end with joy, gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity and surround myself in the beauty of Nature and loving relationships until then. I won’t miss a moment.
Ease, gentleness and encouragement keeps me largely content in this beautiful existence. Giving myself a break is the secret.