False gods, Part I.
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. — Exodus 20:3-6
I’m actively stripping away each layer of Christianity imbedded in my consciousness to see what’s left. It has to be done. This isn’t an argument of whether God exists or if the claims of Christianity are real. I’ll eventually dive into what it was really like to be raised in an evangelical church and my latest obsession with the historical Jesus . . . but for today, this is the start of tearing down false gods.
I decided that if I wanted to take on this exploration, I’d have to go back and read the Bible. The ENTIRE thing, front to back. Instead of the sanctified NIV, the exclusive Bible of my former denomination and most widely read — I chose the Jesus Bible (thank you, Doreen Virtue) but it was too Sunday School with all of the red marks.
The New New Testament was next; the edgy translation that included the forbidden extras found at Nag Hammadi, which gave a naughty, subversive thrill. It’s amazing these books were not destroyed by the unnamed religious institution that controls the world. They will never be included in the “Bible” — at least not in this generation — because the Orthodox Fathers locked that down way back in Constantinople. Of course I added them to my reading list. No fear of Biblical inerrancy now! Bring on The Gospel of Truth, The Gospel of Mary, The Thunder: Perfect Mind, to name a few.
Except it only had the New Testament (NT) and the fuzzy, happy God who sacrificed his Son (still no mention of a heavenly Mom) as a lamb for our sins. Yet something lacked. I needed the angry, capricious Old Testament (OT) God. The blood and vengeance and genocide to get the full Biblical rub. It gets old if you’re simply a lover, pining for your partner to return. You need the gristle. You need the power and muscle memory. You need to know how this God was born. If you want more spice, read The Orthodox Bible, which adds books like Enoch to the pile.
That’s where I settled, though my former self would be horrified that I crossed over enemy lines. You know, incense, idols, priests and the living Eucharist. Thank God for the 1st Amendment. In another time, I’d be burned at the stake for my heretical views. Wouldn’t matter what side. You’re gonna burn!
I dove in, one agonizing chapter at a time. Straight up: the OT is so breathtakingly boring. So redundant. It goes without saying that the tiresome patriarchal song hasn’t changed. Men, men, men. He/His/Son/seed.
You’d think the Creator of the Universe would leave us a stunning work — but either the editors fell asleep at the job or there were major mistranslations along the line. I once knew the Bible pretty well (raise your hand with those daily devotions, ladies) but it’s been a minute and wow, did I forget how vicious the OT God can be. So human. Completely nuts! If you’re offended by that statement, please suffer through Exodus to Joshua and then report back - or merely replace “Zeus” or “abusive partner” for “God”.
Full disclosure: even now a tiny part worries that God will be MAD over these words. Am I going to hell if I go against Daddy? Can God take a little criticism? Can God hold up under examination?
Endless laws and a parent you’ll never please. That’s the OT so far.
Love me, God says. But I’m jealous. Break my laws and I’ll destroy every last one of you. Don’t murder but wipe out that city. Kill pregnant women, infants, men, animals. It’s yours for the taking, as long as you honor me.
The OT is an orgy of blood. God was no vegan, I can tell you. Just when you think He’s evolving with laws over debt forgiveness, killing rapists, treating captive virgins with kindness after slaughtering their kin, protecting families from incest (though it’s okay to marry your cousin), nope! Too soon!
God orders you to stone your daughter (Deut 22) if she’s not a virgin before marriage. Add in ventriloquists (I mean, talking dolls are creepy), charmers and those who read birds for omens.
Oh, you think you’ve made the cut? Check your body for ink while I grab a rock. Sleep with your wife while she has her period? Yep - pile on, bro. Sorry — it’s in the Bible!
It begs the question: WHY did I ever believe in this God?
Part II drops tomorrow. Thanks for reading!