Do I believe in Jesus?
Yes - but not like I used to.
I’m fascinated by the spate of celebrity conversions: M.I.A., Adam Curry, Doreen Virtue (!), as well as de-conversions, like the late Anne Rice. As I was once deeply involved in the Christian church, I like to ponder what brought them to a belief in Jesus; the catalyst that made Doreen leave the New Age and M.I.A. embrace a different religion. Both Doreen and M.I.A. claimed to have visions of Jesus, though Doreen recanted and said it was demonic deception. Adam Curry is deep into conspiracy theories, good vs. evil and apocalyptic scenarios, so his interest in the Bible and Christianity are a perfect narrative fit.
Take it from me: Christians love the Apocalypse. Every generation hopes to be the one that sees the return of Jesus. No one alive can claim it — yet. But someday! Someday!
As we are living in an era that can easily be seen as apocalyptic, it comforting to know that Jesus and his community lived through similar times under Roman occupation.
That brings me to Jesus. The real Jesus, what little we can know.
Do I believe Jesus was a human?
Yes. I do believe he walked this Earth. There is historical evidence outside of Christian sources, though scant. As much as Jesus is a monumental force in Christianity, he was little known then. As one from the peasant class, he was more than likely illiterate and ignored as another “Messiah” (there were many). He was a passing historical footnote in the texts of his time and one of the thousands of Jews and others who were crucified by the Romans for disrupting the peace.
I see the historical Jesus as an apocalyptic prophet and practicing Jew. Somehow the Jewish part is forgotten by many Christians but as I’m reading the entire New Testament, it’s striking how much Jesus loved his religion. The Pharisees, not so much. He was a cutting-edge, radical speaker who drew people to his cause, warning people of the time soon to come, potentially so that the Jews could overthrow Romans oppressors and reclaim their land. They needed an earthly Messiah who would set up a kingdom and rule. That’s the Jesus I believe existed.
Do I believe in Biblical inerrancy, the God-breathed Word?
No, not at all. I once did — all fervor, little evidence — and took people to task who questioned me. I’ve read and listened to some of the top theologians in the world (mentioned below) and it is impossible that the Bible is inerrant. The Christians of my childhood would call these theologians liberal and dismiss them as false prophets, despite the fact that many are believing Christians who can integrate historical evidence that the Bible has been edited, changed and manipulated — and still have a strong faith.
Some will argue but but but I just know it is because of my personal relationship with Jesus and what my pastor said — and yes, I was one of you. I understand the need to make the Bible bulletproof. It’s not going to happen, based on the historical record. It’s not like Jesus left us his memoir. I’ll stick with the experts who do this for a living and make it their life’s work to uncover the facts of the Bible. I have nothing to fear in my search to understand Jesus but do not wish to insult anyone’s faith.
I see the Bible is a devotional book full of myths and stories while attempting to integrate two separate religions (Judaism and Christianity). Jesus shows us how to love, as well as understand the “kingdom of heaven”. More than not, the Bible is often used as a tool to hurt and demonize people, as well as traumatize generations of children.
The irony is that I was never more terrified than when I was a born-again Christian.
Do I believe in the need for salvation as Christians proclaim?
No, though I had many sincere conversion experiences because I really, really wanted to believe. Mostly I wanted to belong. Jesus’s horrific death was a tragedy and can make me cry when I imagine it. Do I believe he takes away my sins and saves me from a place called hell? No. The whole notion of human sacrifice repulses me — and makes little sense. Yet I can see how the Old Testament narrative needed to be followed so that Jesus could fulfill that symbol of salvation — and how the writers of Matthew and Luke twisted themselves into knots to make it happen. (Read various theologians re: how the Virgin birth was crafted and the numerous and contradictory sightings of Jesus after death.)
Christ is a cosmic force. We are all part of it.
Do I believe the writers of the four gospels walked with Jesus?
No. Unlike what was drilled into my brain from childhood on up through college, the notion that the gospel writers knew Jesus is simply false. Just take a precursory dive into how the gospels came into being — or read Part II below for a hint.
Would I convert if presented with the Christian message of salvation for the first time?
More than likely not, unless I had a mystical vision of Jesus. There is little to compel me to convert otherwise, no matter how persuasive the speaker. Saying I’m “going to hell” or “Trust in Jesus and you’re going to Heaven” ain’t gonna work. I look at action rather than empty words. No one taught me more about real Christianity than a group of selfless nuns in the Bronx with whom I once worked.
Will Christianity will be a major religion in 1,000 years?
No, not in the form we see now. Look how much it’s changed since the early centuries after Jesus. If humans still exist in 1,000 years, I don’t think Christianity will hold the same power. Why? Science and technology. Progress and innovation. Android type beings, off-Earth travel and planetary habitation. Christianity might not completely disappear but have smaller sects with a revised Bible that will include many gospels discovered in the future. Ancient gods and pagan deities have come and gone with the same fervor and punishment. Christianity will be one of those religions in time. The last man standing will be the Catholic Church before it wanes (sorry, Luther).
Am I an atheist?
No. My faith is stronger than ever — but not harnessed to a religion. Atheism feels as difficult as Christianity, though Richard Dawkins and former pastor Dan Barker make strong arguments. (Links are affiliate free.) I’ll never return to organized religion but if for some odd reason I did, it would be to the Catholic Church because of my love of beauty and art.
Though the Universe is what I consider a glorious wonder, there is no hard proof of God. No real evidence. No one has come back from the grave to tell us one way or another. God is a mystery that no human will figure out, whether ardent atheist or evangelical.
If either argued their side, I’d shrug and say, Okay, sounds convincing. You can’t prove it.
No need for argument because it’s ALL faith. ALL opinion. ALL interpretation.
God, like death, is a mystery. Thank the Divine Creator for that.
Do I believe in heaven and hell?
Not in those terms. Both are constructs of the human mind to control the masses. I read a comment the other day that the Bible was the original psyop, though I don’t believe that was the wish of the Jewish followers of Jesus after he died. They were fervent in their desire that the human/divine Jesus would return in their lifetime and prepared themselves. Paul believed he would, as did the original apostles. Jesus didn’t return — so the apocalyptic vision had to morph, rather than be a perpetual disappointment.
This is where ideas of hell and judgment become more prevalent through the apocalyptic fight between good vs. evil. Bart Erhman is an excellent scholar on these topics. I’ll link to his work below.
Churches have done their duty and terrified millions of people into thinking that they are going to hell unless they believe in Jesus and follow their rules.
Depending on the denomination, that includes Catholics and other religions, gay people and the like. Adam Curry said that the current church doesn’t condemn us gays but that simply isn’t true. Even the “cool” churches adhere to a doctrine of faith that excludes gay people, unless you are willing to be celibate. Otherwise it’s hellfire, baby.
Sidenote: the original Greek translation of the word arsenokoites used to vilify gay men for centuries is widely considered a mistranslation by most theologians who don’t have skin in the evangelical game — and none can pin down the exact meaning because no one in modern times knows what Paul meant. That’s for another day…
I don’t believe in the Last Days or final Judgement, nor do I believe my Creator would subject me to one. That’s a tyrant, not love. Do I still have trauma and residual fear from church indoctrination? Yes — but as I reshape my beliefs as an autonomous being, there is no need to give up on God or hate the church.
If there’s a hell, it will be our own guilty minds that believe we are sinful and separate from God, unwilling to accept the unconditional love that exists for us — and our own perfection. Like Drew Brophy — who survived a near death experience from Covid — says in the interview below, Hell is an “incoherent vibration”.
What happens when we die?
My sense is that we leave these beautiful bodies and instantly absorb back into the eternal cosmos. We understand everything. We feel everything. We are powerful and unified with all there is, whether God/Heaven/Deity but names won’t matter, nor will gender/sex and all the ridiculous things we argue over. Eternal beings, ever present.
I am you. You are me. All part of the whole ongoing story. I do not believe that we cease to exist. Your story is as important as mine. Unified consciousness.
Yet I won’t be “Raven”. Raven is a construct of my being — an experience — and I will move beyond her the instant I leave this life.
Links to a few excellent theologians.
Esteemed scholar Bart Ehrman îs my go-to. He grew up fundamentalist, lost his faith but not for reasons you might think. He’s super smart, yet accessible. Highly entertaining and knowledgable. His blog is packed with information and all subscriptions go to charity. His Misquoting Jesus podcast is excellent.
I’ve just started How Jesus Became God: The Exaltation of a Jewish Preacher from Galilee. After that: The Orthodox Corruption of Scripture and then Heaven and Hell.
John Crossan’s book Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography is wonderful.